The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful
consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable
to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in
receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.
With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and
previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find
that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.
Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen